show dem pumpum printers

Ha, ze German hairkutters finally admit to be ciciman.

Damage control

File on A. Mayer X23352-07/03/1986 - Code name: The Wimp.
Date of entry: 09/19/2007

Damn the internet. Nowadays information that should be handled with a little discretion is spreading way to fast. Sometimes, footage leaks onto the net and thousands of people across the globe have seen within hours what no one should ever see. Just a few years ago I would have sent my boys to the scene to deal with the eyewitnesses. It sure was a pleasant alleviation of our work when we got the memory-messer-uppers. Now, thanks to the net they're rendered almost useless. This footage leaked onto the net yesterday:



If information cannot be contained the book states several methods of ridiculing it and thus making it implausible. Occasionally, we even leak information to hollow sources such as UFO sightings intentionally. That way if anyone ever does see one of our unidentified flying objects (terrestrial or not), nobody will take the witness seriously.
In the "Wimp" case I chose the full force approach. It was too late to cover this up, so we stomp this boy into the ground by humiliating him publicly. And were he could press charges against the security personnel, the state will press charges against him pre-emptively. That will keep him, and more importantly, the public occupied and distracted from the real critical points - the questions he asked.
I had Fox take care of the situation.



We have clubbed activists like you down in '68, Mr. Mayer. We are not going to let that kind of action go unpunished. What would this country come to if everyone could freely utter there questions to politicians or even suggest criticism to honorable members of the league?

Further proceedings: "The Wimp" is on a watch until further notice.

Hamburg Harburg

Zat is vot ze hole vorld is goink to look like ven my Master finally succeeds! Ze Harburg part zat is, not ze Hamburg part.