Hardy-har-har

I woke up this morning to find a mutilated dead horse in my bed. I don't know how it got there, but I got a pretty good idea of who is responsible for it. I insinuated in my last post that I had sexual relations with "everyone's favorite psycho horse bitch", Frau Blücher.

Geez, it was a joke lady...get over it! No need for killing innocent horses and dragging them to my house. Not only is it unsanitary...it's just plain insane. Should I send you my bloody sheets so you can wash them yourself? Or just the dry cleaning bill? That was 400 thread count Egyptian cotton and now...it's ruined.

Also I don't even wanna know how you managed to get my fucking home address in the first place! I swear, if one of these other fuckers on this group blog gave it out...someone is gonna get cut.

A joke...Witz...I vas making ze funny...? Do you understand?!

Goddammit! Just go take one of your happy time old people pills and chill the fuck out.

"Good Guys" suck

See, this is what I'm talking about people. And at the end, everybody just has a big laugh. If that cop had broken out the front porch windows of the compound, he'd be shark bait right about now. I can't fucking stand these douchebags. And the sergeant in charge?! He's all like, "How are we gonna write this up?" And I'd be all like, "Bitch, what the fuck?! Come and pet my aquarium full of pirhanas!"

This shit is not funny to me.

On a lighter note, you know that Frau Blücher? She's so freaky, but freaky in the "good way"...if you know what I mean *wink*. Don't get me wrong, she's a mean old bitch, but once you get her hollering that German jibber jabber... It. Is. Over.
Beneath her rough and haggard exterior, she's a total G.O.I.L.F.A. (German Oma -- yadda yadda -- Again).

I think she's into the darkies though...